First off, it’s truly been a while. Don’t we all hit a point where you start to wonder if it’s okay to be upset or not? Often I find myself in these situations but in the end, I contain the emotions, knowing it might worsen the situation. I was trying to help. Did my best. But..why did…lol fuck it. i’ve cooled down. Time to continue with lifeee.
Don’t know what to do anymore.
I told you. I’m here to guide you. It’s your decision if you want to take the path though.
Whenever you’re ready, let me know. Faggot.
Time. Something I have way to much of. Yeah, I know; some people would die for some time to themselves, but when I say I have way to much I mean it. And it’s like life is trying to fuck me over. I’d usually sit at home and play online games but now my internet decides to be stupid and lag, now I can’t play games. So all I do is sit at home and be the loner I am. Why do I go out? It’s hard to explain. Let’s just saying I’m living a life that I need to grow up out of. I’m living on a lifestyle that died along time ago and will never come back.
When you have a lot of time on your hands and sit around doing nothing, your mind just wanders. And it’s the worst thing ever. I’m started to hate my life. But it’s my fault. I made myself like this. Now I have to deal with it. I will. Fuck you life. SMD. I need a job, I need to start hanging out with a friend I lost, and I need to make some new friends. Then maybe I’ll be happy.
She’s what’s keeping me from holding on. Thank you.
So yeah..this basically describes my life.
Why? Why do I have to sit and wait all the time? Yes, it is because I choose too but that doesn’t mean that I want too..If I don’t want to, then why do I? Perhaps it is because I have nothing else to do; So instead do I just wait around because I have nothing to do or do I choose to wait around? I recall actually trying to do something to engross myself, so the wait wouldn’t seem as lengthy but that doesn’t seem to work at all. Maybe I just need to find something to occupy my time more assiduously. Maybe then will I not have to wait in apprehension. It eats me alive, it really does. While I wait my mind explores and ventures into places that might have been best not too. Why the hell do I let my mind wander in such places? I have no damn clue.
I’m holding on and moving foward, but i’ll always end up at a pause.
God.
I’m such a pessimist.
“If you’ve got the time, then I got the reason for the scene.”
Due to such an misanthrope lifestyle, we construct a diurnal facade. Accepting all cataclysmic situation which coercing us into conceiving that it’s unconditionally the best for us. Such misconception should be a sin..but sadly it’s the only contrivance we have to get us by in life.
Oh well.
Why the hell do I title my post with one word? The fuck I know. Lmao Anyways. I’ve kind of been slacking in my creativity of my post. To be honest I’ve really had no..influence. Hold up..something’s coming to me..
It’s okay. It’s really okay. Just let it go and everything will be alright. Yeah, shit happens, suck it up and get use to it pussy. I mean, it’s completely normal so why should I stress myself over something so..normal..? Am I that indifferent that It should bothers me so much? Hm..it makes me wonder sometimes; Am I really the indifferent one..? Or does my logic and reasoning suffice for my motives. I am not really sure. But as I look back and compare myself to the past, I can see that maybe I trully was the deviant one…Or..maybe I’m not..rather I’m forcing myself to think that way because i’m to scared to deal with the truth.
Well I can’t entirely say that’s true because I’m honest not sure. I’m just throwing the “what if’s” out there.
I felt like I really moved forward today. I made a resume and my brother is going to check it and fix it up. Althought I have no other job experience I do have a crap load of personal experience in computering and crap. So let’s hope someone accepts me..So far I’ve thought about Samsung place..best buy, radio shack, boarders, game stop, office depot, and..the NBA store. Well..tomorrow is the day I plan to hand in these resumes. Wish me luck.
Goodnight.
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